Northwest Nap

Yup you read it right, the new heights of sleeping made it to Urban Dictionary. This was added to honor the recent headlines that two pilots from Northwest Airlines who took a little "in flight snooze".

I did some looking around and found there were so many misdemeanors for this infamous airlines, such as: one 1990, another one from 2006, and obviously the recent one

The pilots didn't answer radio calls for more than an hour. It scared the air traffic controllers so badly that a military plane was standing by to intercept the airliner.

One can argue, at a time of so much discussion about the problem of pilot fatigue, whether the Federal Aviation Administration should still require pilots to stay awake at all times during U.S. flights. Many international carriers permit naps.

Now you can invent new usages for the phrase such as, Last night the old train station burned down while the cops parked down the block from it were taking a Northwest Nap.

"Urban Dictionary: Northwest Nap - A very deep sleep where you are unable to hear telephones, text messages and even the Air Force. As in, Dude, I was so tired yesterday, I took a Northwest Nap. My girl called me 15 times and I didn't hear a thing!"

Swine Flu...

Vividly remember a friend telling me a joke when the Swine Flu was emerging from a random case or two to the now pandemic - the joke goes something like, "When a Black man becomes the President of USA, pigs will fly. Sure enough 100 days after Mr. Obama.. Swine Flew" (Don't flame me for the joke as I am a fan of Obama and voted for him too). SWINE Flu and PANdemic probably makes some of you crave for a nice sizzling bacon too... you swines!

All the joking aside, I watch news everyday about the spreading and the shortage of flu shots but it never hit me hard until my boss asked me to travel overseas. As the song goes, you'll never know until it happens to you. So true, I was shaking in my boots. I called my doctor's office a dozen times frantically, the receptionist recognizes my voice and before I say Sw.. she replies with a curt NO.

I was also waking up in the middle of the night, sweating bullets from the routine nightmares of being quarantined in a foreign country and thrown in to a dark dungeon with other unfortunates. I start to ignore the news now as sometimes ignorance is a bliss. Ever heard of the popular idiom, what you don't know, won't hurt you? I am sure some wise men came up with that, you think I can count on them?

Anyway, the days are passing by and I still don't have a clue about the flu shot. Apparently they have issues with production yield, they were projecting 160 million doses and got about one-third of it so far. Obviously, I am neither a 4 yr old, nor a pregnant woman so my chances are on the bottom. I was still annoying my doctor's receptionist about this to the point that she is able to now sense me before I even say something, damn my luck.

I also became a bit philosophic about these diseases. We contracted the Aids virus by creating polio vaccine from monkeys (instead of chimpanzees) and eating monkey meat etc. Swine Flu obviously is not new, it caused a brief panic in 1976 but was well contained. Virus mutates if it's contracted from animals to humans and spreads. AIDS from Monkeys, Mad Cow from meat eating Cows, Bird Flu from Chickens etc. I guess one should go vegetarian? Well remember killer tomatoes & spinach containing Salmonella and E.Coli? TB, Cholera, Ebloa??? I think we are surrounded by many. Unfortunately, medical science is not as advanced as the virus mutation, we are always playing a catch-up game with these.

Finally yesterday I found out that there is a chance of me getting a flu shot if I arrive at a particular time. I almost felt like the angels spoke and I was chosen for this. I told the doctor that I will arrive an hour before the specified time and stay until they close.

Alright, I feel like a million bucks, I got the shot and I am ready to fly anywhere. I went to bed and since the stress was gone, I slept like a baby. Middle of the night, I felt like someone was screaming Swine, Swine followed by a mighty kick in my ass. It was my girl cursing me to get up because all the joy was making me grunt and oink all night which was driving her crazy.

As long as I don't grow a thin kinked tail I should be fine. I do a have an excuse now if I burp or fart in public. Excuse me I just got the Swine Flu Shot...

Disclaimer: It's all fictional on the current event. Read and laugh, send me your funny comments so I can laugh too.

Jailbreak Fad

I think an invitation went out to all iPhones from the secret society and I was not on their list :( It almost became a de facto process to prove to Apple that we like your device but we don't want to live in the jail. First find ways to flash your iPhone device in some way or fashion in crowds, then greet another iPhoner and enquire if they Jailbroke their phone. Jailbreak has taken a new meaning since the introduction of iPhone. The process has almost made you as famous as Mr. Eastwood in Escape From Alcatraz, You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well do ya Punk?

Well WE on the other hand are still waiting out there like dodo birds thinking one day Apple and AT&T comes to their senses that the restrictions they put in don't stick. Oh, I forgot to mention we, the dodo birds have earned a title as well, we are Purists now. I guess Apple tried to preach the ethics and even threatened to sue people for these practices, while the stats show that either Apple win them back or just make the hardware and let others write their own thing. You can act stupid and get away... but acting like a big daddy doesn't work anymore.

It reminds me of the CSS encryption on DVDs and Jon Johansen's DeCSS. For every restriction there is an opposite and powerful remedy that emerges. Look at the whole piracy tools - the electronic media piracy is not restricted to music or movies any more ;-) Piracy is not new as the attraction to doing illegal things is piteously a human weakness. Very good article on Piracy and Stealing here.

As much as I hate to join the cult, I am also very much fascinated by this 17 year old (goes by GeoHot) who proved out to the world that he can change the way The Elephants Dance. For purists like me, I hope the companies realize these and start to offer legal ways of doing stuff at a reasonable price otherwise not sure how long we can not-Jailbreak or other words not take a shower in Blackra1n.

Road Rage...

Is it just me or frickin' people forget to drive when the weather changes from Sunny to Rain, Rain to Snow? I often leave work in a rush just to be some where at a particular time, Murphy's law gets me all the time. Either my boss asks me to do something, a late meeting invite or just a pain in the ass situation, you get the picture. I end up rushing to my car and off to the highway and feel that I may just make it to my appointment on time if luck permits. I see a line of red lights on all four lanes of the highway and suddenly the new and innovative curse words gush in my mind and strip the fugacious glory of my optimism.

I do act smart and take the first exit I see to only rely on my Smart GPS. Well with all the euphoria on the road I soon realize that I just followed another million cars from the four lanes highway to a single lane road. I don't know whether to get back on the highway or just put up with this slow and painful path. Truly become a definition of Stuck Between A Rock and A Hard Place. I also realize how a sane person becomes insane, suddenly the Eureka moment to figure out the root cause of Road Rage.

I am pretty sure it's because of some Bozo Texting and rear ended someone otherwise either a meteorite or an alien ship landed right on the highway. I better hear it in the news when I go home because the mainstream media cares about covering such things right away. To my dismay it's nothing significant, it's just the Murphy's law so I miss my appointment and go thru a bit of Road Rage...

Mainstream Media!

Have you ever wondered about the news coverage these days on TV? I guess Balloon Boy makes it to the top of the news coverage than Unemployment or Economic crisis in the country. As is the world news coverage takes a back seat between the news such as Madonna's practice in her own apartment, extensive weather/airport delays and Pigs catching Swine Flu from humans etc.

I was so mad about the Heenes for creating such a publicity stunt, a worldwide drama and mockery of public officials. Who would plot such a nuisance for selfish TV Coverage or a Relaity show (I guess knowing the weak minds of this media, almost any crazy person will). I am sure all the attention is turning out too real for Heenes. I liked the sheriff's summary of the Heene's investigation with the Bizarre Meter score of 10.

They had to postpone important shows such as Zakaria's GPS & Christiane's Amanpour for the Balloon Boy. Oh, is it just me or the CNN folks are having way too much fun with that touch screen magic wall? All you need a stroke of a finger to travel hundreds of miles on the map, the zoom in/out, no wonder it makes the weather man go crazy like a kid in the carnival.

I guess idle brains such as Heenes know that media will be all over the balloon and the kid story and he was right on. Way to go Mainstream for being so predictable!!

Touch of art!

Let me start by quoting what Art really means (Wiki) - Art is the process or product of deliberately arranging elements in a way that appeals to the senses or emotions. Traditionally, the term art was used to refer to any skill or mastery. Art is an act of expressing our feelings, thoughts, and observations.

Why this prelude, where am I going with this? Well, remember the fall foliage trip I was going to take towards Vermont? Well the tour kinda took an artsy detour to the Sterling and Francine Clark Art Institute in Williamstown. If you never been to this town, may I encourage you to do so? As the name says it all, it is a nice art museum in a beautiful location. All the art is a private collection of Sterling and Francine Clark.

I am not a painter so I always questioned how much would I appreciate the artist's efforts and the choices of colors used to attract his audience to all the intricate details etc. I always take Mona Lisa as my example, how many people look at the painting and know why it is so enigmatic. It took the world famous master Leonardo da Vinci in 1500s more than 4+ years to complete and even today it's the world famous painting.

Anyway, I don't want to distract you from the subject, The Clark institute. You will find the following attractions there:

1. Decorative Arts: Such as Pianoforte and Pair of Stools, Porcelain, Silver art pieces.
2. Art, Paintings & Drawings: (from 1400s) Such as Piero della Francesca, William Bouguereau (Check his Nymphs and Satyr), Lawrence Alma-Tadema (Check his The Woman of The Amphiss), Pierre-Auguste Renoir, Winslow Homer, Frederic Remington, Monet, Manet and many more to mention.
3. Photographs: So many ancient photography techniques such as Albumen, Collodion, Salt on Glass negatives. These days photography has become so digitized and omni present in cell phones and other places the real art of photography and invention is completely taken for granted. Read a little about the challenges and inventions from 1500s here so you can start to appreciate the level of knowledge they had with this art. Don't miss their exhibition show, Steps off the Beaten Path.
4. Japanese Arts: Take a nice walk thru the backyard trail to go to the Japanese arts museum, where you will find some Japanese Art pieces and paitings. Don't forget to go out on to the deck and see the breath taking fall colors if you happen to go there in fall season.

Even if you are not an artist and appreciate all the different aspects and intricacies of their efforts, you will still have a good time. What can I say, went to see just the fall colors and ended up experiencing a Touch of art!

Showered with love

I moved to North East a long time ago and I still remember the first day when it snowed. I couldn't believe what I was watching. I remember my buns were freezing and my feet was almost blue from the cold because I didn't have the right gear but all I felt was, oh I am in heaven. Well that year we had many blizzards and I realized what a pain in the ass the winter really is...

Usually we boast to the Sunny Californians about all the seasons we see on the North East side of the country, how ever we had just one season this year, A GOD DAMN RAINY ONE. Alright alright, may be a week of summer. We've been planning for a fall tour to the vermont side, not that this is any different than the last decade of fall trips we took. The common thing is to tune to the Fall Foliage network updates. I think it took almost a day to go from peak color to complete on the website. It's gone like the summer we never had. Well, that saves me a few bucks on the gas...

Just to make this boring thing interesting the other day on my way to work I saw the flakes. Snow already? Come on... what happened to the global warming? Oh that's right, it is North East, where 5 inches of snow is considered dusting here. We get showered with something all the time, it must be love...

My foot!

Fooled you ain't I? Oh come on relax, I am not insulting you rather I was trying to stretch and massage my feet. These days the speed walk with my dress shoes is catching up to me. End of the day while driving back home I get a sudden urge to take both feet off from the floor and hold them. Some how I know that the stupid traffic and all the people I curse on the road will not enjoy me slowing down or going off the track.

I can't wait to go home and put my feet in hot water. Everybody is driving sloppy, the rain and some idiot banged his car to some one else had contributed to a 5 mile back up. The only last hope I had is now royally screwed.

I bought just about 4 pairs of shoes in the last few months, I tell you, every other pair I tried in the shop felt like that's the one I was always looking for. I think I am an optimist, I need to convince myself from shopping for shoes. It's not the shoe, it's my foot!

Memoirs of a slacker

Ideleted all my old blogs. This is not the first time I did that. I guess I should have known that was coming. About 5 years ago I was blogging actively and due to job changes and some other pressures I gave up on that couch activity. I restarted another blog site about few years ago and kept up for nearly a year (not sure who I was trying to impress), I guess you get the picture.

I also don't mind if people don't appreciate my sarcastic ramblings, but would like somebody complaining about them or something so deleting them will be extended. Looking forward to your remakrs...

I guess watching Jeopardy has something to do with this? every so often I get to this mood by self introspection. Did you ever wonder how little you know? That sort of thought takes me for a ride and convinces me that there are lot of things I am not good at and I wish I can go back to the future and do something about it. Since I don't know how to restart the time, the least I can come up with is reopen a blog site again and attract other fellow slackers.

Anyway, bottom line is every so often I find myself going thru the couch syndrome stage and a fresh start to boredom takes a new life. This time it was the Jeopardy show!